Hello, My name is Marcia. I’ve created this blog and my Facebook page to mainly get myself motivated and accounted for, but also to create a community for others like myself. Those. Trying. To. Lose. Weight. Losing weight is tough. I should know, I have been dealing with being overweight for practically half of my life. Please excuse any brevity, cursing, spelling errors, etc. Weight loss is real. Therefore, I plan to be REAL to myself through my entire journey. I wish all of you on this journey great success. If you need support, in any way… please contact me. I can be reached at MrsTAVK@gmail.com. Also, LIKE my fan page and become a friend of mine on MyFitnessPal.com. We are in this together! Let’s get melting the fat away!
Now, here’s my story…
Shortly after beginning college, I began noticing that I was gaining weight steadily. I figured it was just the late night pizza, chinese food and multiple number of beers (Yes, I was at College). However, I think it was because I had become so sedentary. In High School (and most of my early days), I was in Dancing. I spent 2-4 hours per day, 5x/week dancing. And then all of a sudden… I Stopped! The time I was in college, I went from weighing 130 to 155. (That was only in 1.5 years Sickening!)
I returned home in the middle of my Sophomore year of College. (Too much partying led me home. That’s another story.) I began working at a Child Care facility. You would think running after kids would keep me fit. But no, I still continued on the spiral of eating at all hours of the day and it was NOT healthy by any means. I was going out on the weekends constantly and the only exercise I may have given myself was the 3-4 minutes that I was on the dance floor per song on the weekends at the bar. The next two years plastered another 20 pounds to my hips.
January 2001, I moved to Florida. It was time to grow up and start over. I gave up eating red meat, fast food and began working out two times a day. I was doing good. I got my weight to go down to 150 in a year. Then, I guess I just got “busy”. Isn’t that what we tell ourselves? BUSY. Basically, I gave up on myself. Thankfully, I met my amazing hubby in 2003 who wouldn’t give up on me. I was sickened with love and a few years later we got married, moved into our little house in the country and started to try and have a family.
So, from 2003-2006, I managed to gain another 60 pounds. Managing to get my weight up to 210. I guess I just did like they say, “I got comfortable in my marriage”. I mean, really? Why did I need to work out. I was so HAPPY! Oh boy….
In 2007, I was hit in the stomach hard when trying to create our family wasn’t happening like we had liked. I went to the doctor one morning thinking she was going to tell me some good news. Instead, I was given an ultrasound and some blood work and told that I had been diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. My heart shattered. I had been working as a Professional Nanny since 2001. I worked as a teacher. I went to school to be a teacher. I. HAVE. ALWAYS. WANTED. TO. BE. A. MOM.! Thoughts flew through my head like rapid fire. I quickly ran home, cried on my husbands shoulder, screamed a bit and started researching. I was enraged and willing to do anything to make this go away.
To my surprise, while learning about PCOS, I found out that most of those diagnosed have an increased problem with losing weight. “Why, that must be it!”, I remember thinking to myself. I had gained all this weight and now I am being told I may not have children because I have a problem losing weight. It’s PCOS’s fault that I can’t lose weight!
Six years of fertility treatments… being poked & prodded and losing two angel babies sent me into a deep depression. I gained another 25 pounds. (I was now sitting at 235) I gave up on myself, my marriage, the thought of having children and mostly… losing weight. For two years, I became NUMB. I used cigarettes, anxiety pills and food to cover my emotions. I became a spiraling roller coaster. I left my job to start a business, but I left the business. I left the business to concentrate on myself, but I overcrowded my life with other things and kept gaining. I’d sit around on the computer all day and watch TV and make myself “busy” so my husband wouldn’t think anything was wrong with me. Inside, I was dying. Not because of all the battles I had been through, but because I was truly killing myself by not taking care of the most important thing in my life… ME!
Finally, something snapped! Call it the onset of the Holidays, I don’t know what it was. I happened to weigh myself one morning before going out to shop. Scale read 248.8 pounds. The highest I had ever been. Disgusted, I got myself dressed (sweatpants and a t-shirt, the usual attire) and headed for the mall. While walking around, all I saw was pregnant bellies, mom’s cradling babies, toddlers holding their daddy’s hand and little ones sitting on Santa’s lap. My heart ached. Then it hit me, YOU FOOL! You could have this too! If you would just get off your ass and work at it. It’s not your infertility holding you back, IT’S YOU!!
I left the mall quickly that day. I didn’t buy a single thing. I went straight to my van. Cried my eyes out and then made a pact with myself. I would no longer pity myself. Why have I allowed myself to just “live”. Life could be so much better! I decided that I would finally lose this weight that has been holding me back for so long. It was time to find things that made me happy and kept me healthy. It was time to find — ME!
So, that’s where I am now. I started Day 1 (Jan 1, 2013) weighing 248.8 pounds. My goal is to get to 150. I don’t have a deadline. I just want to get there. I have mini-goals along the way that I will be posting on this blog that will help me to get to my big one. I want to add things back to my life that have always made me happy, but I have had to let go of due to my weight. I am ready to MELT this pesky fat off of my body! There is a beautiful, skinny, fertile woman hiding inside of me who needs to be let out! =)