On Monday night before going to bed, I sat there and thought to myself for a moment…. “I think I have an addiction…”. My mind began wandering back to very early days in my childhood when I would be asked, “What’s Your Favorite Food, Marcia?”. I never had an answer for anyone. My mother would like to claim that my favorite food is Steak & Potatoes though. (Love you Mom!) As that is what she would typically end up telling people.
We’ve all had that question asked. From MySpace & Facebook “All About Me” postings, surveys, questionnaires, etc. But, let me ask you this. Did you answer that question truthfully? Or, did you just put something down that was tempting you at the moment?
Here’s what I was thinking before bed on Monday….. I don’t have ONE specific food that I like. I like THEM ALL!! I like anything that tastes well, smells well, looks well and sits well. I want it and I want it NOW! That’s when it really hit me. I am a FOOD ADDICT!
I honestly have never been able to specify what my favorite food is. I could tell you that I absolutely LOVE Mexican food (which I do), but honestly… I would eat the heck out of Cheesecake or Seafood just as passionately. (Hmm… perhaps that’s a term I need to share with the therapist — Food = Passion. Interesting what comes out here sometimes.)
Fast forward to Tuesday. I’m on the computer scrolling through my Facebook posts like I typically do and there is a blog post from Ruby Gettinger (if you haven’t heard of Ruby — You need to go check her out! She’s amazing!). I click on it and start to read it. It grabbed my attention as she starts to talk about how we become “Powerless to ______ ” (fill in the blank with whatever you feel powerless to). Then, she encouraged me to take Step 2 and join her in getting some help. I clicked on the link and was directed to The Recovery Room.
I really wasn’t sure what to think once I landed on the page for The Recovery Room, but something within me forced me to take the next step and e-mail the moderator to be added to the group. I received my e-mail confirmation within a few minutes and before I knew it, I was attending a 3pm Overeaters Anonymous virtual meeting.
I decided early on in the session that I was not ready to “share” my story or talk about my issues. So, I just hung back, listened and cheered on those who were so bravely sharing their trials and tribulations as Compulsive Eaters and Food Addicts. My mind was racing and I swear the hair on my neck was standing straight up. Every word that was typed across the screen from each member felt like it was coming straight out of my own mouth. For once, I had found where I needed to be!
I have been telling my friends and family for several weeks now how I had this mental block that was preventing me from losing my weight and I just kept praying that I would eventually figure it out. Am I going to have some remarkable weight-loss all of a sudden? No, I’m not saying that. What I am saying is that I have found a way to discuss my emotional and mental issues with the one thing that keeps me FAT besides my own self… FOOD!
Of course, this group doesn’t just sit and talk about food. In fact, we aren’t even allowed to discuss a specific food or diet for fear that we may cause someone with an extreme food addiction to go into a rage of sorts. We don’t want to be the reason to set them into a binge episode. So, we just use very “vague” terms when discussing our food addictions. Like, “I went to this specific restaurant and had a really hard time staying away from this specific meal that I had prepared myself to avoid”. I loved how comforting and supportive everyone was within the group. (Again, it’s all a virtual chat room. So, it’s very easy to share, support and speak freely. Especially when your screen name is “guest”.)
The most interesting thing I learned about OA is that they use the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book. Yes, The 12 Step Program! Because if you really think about it… it’s ADDICTION we are fighting! The same “suggestions” (as the AABB is all suggestive and not a mandatory way of life) apply for ANY addict. I’ve already downloaded my copy of the AABB and plan to read more of it throughout the next few weeks. (It never occurred to me how similar a “binge drinker” and a “binge eater” were similar until I started reading…)
So all and all… I’m suggesting to YOU… my family, friends and fans. If you are struggling with an addiction, a battle with yourself or are depressed about something that has happened in your life. Get Help! It does NOT make you a weak person to admit when you need help. In fact, it makes you STRONGER! Come back ALIVE and LIVE the life you really want! Get the help you need! Because we want to see you around for a LONG time!
Sending you all ((hugs)) while you are tackling this journey to a healthy you and struggling with day-to-day battles within it. I know personally that it is not easy, but we will make it through TOGETHER! Stay Strong & Healthy!
Overeaters Anonymous offers a program of recovery from compulsive eating using the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of OA. Worldwide meetings and other tools provide a fellowship of experience, strength and hope where members respect one another’s anonymity. OA charges no dues or fees; it is self-supporting through member contributions.
OA is not just about weight loss, weight gain or maintenance, or obesity or diets. It addresses physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. It is not a religious organization and does not promote any particular diet.
OA members differ in many ways, but we are united by our common disease and the solution we have found in the OA program. We practice unity with diversity, and we welcome everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. Welcome to Overeaters Anonymous. Welcome home.
This sounds so YUMMY and only 200 cals per serving. Enjoy! It’s going on my menu next week.
Yes, I’m still on my road to losing this pesky fat! I’ve been extremely busy since about mid-February. I went back to work after being off for nearly two years. (I took a “mental break” after my last miscarriage) I was on a roll losing my weight with being down nearly 15 pounds from Jan 2nd to Feb 13th. I figured it was time to move on. Boy was I wrong! This
damn scale of mine was resisting to budge for nearly three months. It hit me this week that I just haven’t been making the time for ME as much as I should have. However, I have jumped back on the bandwagon and I am hoping to get below the 220’s next week (I started at 248 in January)! I created a six month goal for myself to be down 50 pounds by my 35th Birthday. That’s drawing near — June 14th — Eeeek!! Since I took my first photo of myself on January 19th, I figured I’d be a little lenient and go to June 19th to reach my goal. Of course, I won’t be saddened if I reach it before then. 🙂
On May 7th, I will be giving up my reigns once again as Nanny. I’m going to be concentrating on myself this summer and preparing my body to go through another round of infertility treatments. (I haven’t shared it with most of my family and friends — so I apologize if you are reading this and are just now finding out) I am going to tell you all this… I’m
scared as hell nervous and anxious to begin the process. Most of all, in my current state — I’m not ready! My goal was to be below 200 pounds before even going to see the specialist. Our appointment is May 20th. I just told my husband (literally like 20 minutes ago) that I am rescheduling that appointment… once again! This time, not because I am too frightened to begin treatment, but because I have a bigger goal in mind. I want to be below that 200 lb mark! I want to be a healthy pregnant momma!! There’s nothing I have ever wanted more! (Small Note: I will NOT be posting on this blog, Twitter, or Facebook when/if I do treatments. You will find out I’m pregnant when I feel I’m ready. Not trying to be rude, but just protecting myself, my husband and so many other couples who go through the struggle of infertility every day of every year. I will not be that person who keeps throwing it up in conversation just for conversation. I have been there and I won’t be doing it! So, you are still safe to hang around. Long after the “fun” begins! 🙂 )
I have my Best Friends wedding on May 18th and when I return I will be kicking it in high gear till at least my birthday. Then, I will see where I am. (Hopefully below the 200 line!) At that point, I will contact my specialist (Reproductive Endocrinologist) and go from there. And hey, who knows! Maybe I’ll just have a miracle pregnancy! Psh! Ha! Ya, I’ve been saying that for 7 years folks. (Read MY STORY to find out more)
Tomorrow morning I am joining my new friend and journey buddy (Geri) for Boot Camp. Yes, I’m going back! Well, this one is with a different trainer, but I need to have my ass pushed a little harder. I have NO CHOICE! Staying fat is not an option for me! I’m also continuing with my weight-loss challenge group and have recently started a local “Women’s Fat Club”. I am expecting a call on Tuesday afternoon from a Therapist who specializes in Food Addiction and Binge Eating. We are hoping to have her come and speak with us ladies. We also have a cooking class (at our local Diabetes Center), a field trip to see Ruby Gettinger and a Splash ‘N Dash Fun Run scheduled over the summer. Strength in numbers folks! I encourage you to grab a few friends and get yourselves moving this summer too! Get out and enjoy your life!
Ok, now for the good stuff (blech!). Here’s my progress photo’s….
Not a whole lotta change yet (slightly here and slight there yes), but there will be soon! You just wait and see!
**Do you have a progress photo, journey story, etc that you would like to share with my readers? Let me know (by commenting below or contacting me via PM on Facebook) and I’ll post it on my blog for you! I love to share others stories! Be an inspiration to others and you will keep inspiring yourself.
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My Personal Journey to 150 Lbs
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26 | Married | Dog Mom | Endometriosis | PCOS |Infertility