On Monday night before going to bed, I sat there and thought to myself for a moment…. “I think I have an addiction…”. My mind began wandering back to very early days in my childhood when I would be asked, “What’s Your Favorite Food, Marcia?”. I never had an answer for anyone. My mother would like to claim that my favorite food is Steak & Potatoes though. (Love you Mom!) As that is what she would typically end up telling people.
We’ve all had that question asked. From MySpace & Facebook “All About Me” postings, surveys, questionnaires, etc. But, let me ask you this. Did you answer that question truthfully? Or, did you just put something down that was tempting you at the moment?
Here’s what I was thinking before bed on Monday….. I don’t have ONE specific food that I like. I like THEM ALL!! I like anything that tastes well, smells well, looks well and sits well. I want it and I want it NOW! That’s when it really hit me. I am a FOOD ADDICT!
I honestly have never been able to specify what my favorite food is. I could tell you that I absolutely LOVE Mexican food (which I do), but honestly… I would eat the heck out of Cheesecake or Seafood just as passionately. (Hmm… perhaps that’s a term I need to share with the therapist — Food = Passion. Interesting what comes out here sometimes.)
Fast forward to Tuesday. I’m on the computer scrolling through my Facebook posts like I typically do and there is a blog post from Ruby Gettinger (if you haven’t heard of Ruby — You need to go check her out! She’s amazing!). I click on it and start to read it. It grabbed my attention as she starts to talk about how we become “Powerless to ______ ” (fill in the blank with whatever you feel powerless to). Then, she encouraged me to take Step 2 and join her in getting some help. I clicked on the link and was directed to The Recovery Room.
I really wasn’t sure what to think once I landed on the page for The Recovery Room, but something within me forced me to take the next step and e-mail the moderator to be added to the group. I received my e-mail confirmation within a few minutes and before I knew it, I was attending a 3pm Overeaters Anonymous virtual meeting.
I decided early on in the session that I was not ready to “share” my story or talk about my issues. So, I just hung back, listened and cheered on those who were so bravely sharing their trials and tribulations as Compulsive Eaters and Food Addicts. My mind was racing and I swear the hair on my neck was standing straight up. Every word that was typed across the screen from each member felt like it was coming straight out of my own mouth. For once, I had found where I needed to be!
I have been telling my friends and family for several weeks now how I had this mental block that was preventing me from losing my weight and I just kept praying that I would eventually figure it out. Am I going to have some remarkable weight-loss all of a sudden? No, I’m not saying that. What I am saying is that I have found a way to discuss my emotional and mental issues with the one thing that keeps me FAT besides my own self… FOOD!
Of course, this group doesn’t just sit and talk about food. In fact, we aren’t even allowed to discuss a specific food or diet for fear that we may cause someone with an extreme food addiction to go into a rage of sorts. We don’t want to be the reason to set them into a binge episode. So, we just use very “vague” terms when discussing our food addictions. Like, “I went to this specific restaurant and had a really hard time staying away from this specific meal that I had prepared myself to avoid”. I loved how comforting and supportive everyone was within the group. (Again, it’s all a virtual chat room. So, it’s very easy to share, support and speak freely. Especially when your screen name is “guest”.)
The most interesting thing I learned about OA is that they use the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book. Yes, The 12 Step Program! Because if you really think about it… it’s ADDICTION we are fighting! The same “suggestions” (as the AABB is all suggestive and not a mandatory way of life) apply for ANY addict. I’ve already downloaded my copy of the AABB and plan to read more of it throughout the next few weeks. (It never occurred to me how similar a “binge drinker” and a “binge eater” were similar until I started reading…)
So all and all… I’m suggesting to YOU… my family, friends and fans. If you are struggling with an addiction, a battle with yourself or are depressed about something that has happened in your life. Get Help! It does NOT make you a weak person to admit when you need help. In fact, it makes you STRONGER! Come back ALIVE and LIVE the life you really want! Get the help you need! Because we want to see you around for a LONG time!
Sending you all ((hugs)) while you are tackling this journey to a healthy you and struggling with day-to-day battles within it. I know personally that it is not easy, but we will make it through TOGETHER! Stay Strong & Healthy!
About OA:
Overeaters Anonymous offers a program of recovery from compulsive eating using the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of OA. Worldwide meetings and other tools provide a fellowship of experience, strength and hope where members respect one another’s anonymity. OA charges no dues or fees; it is self-supporting through member contributions.
OA is not just about weight loss, weight gain or maintenance, or obesity or diets. It addresses physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. It is not a religious organization and does not promote any particular diet.
OA members differ in many ways, but we are united by our common disease and the solution we have found in the OA program. We practice unity with diversity, and we welcome everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. Welcome to Overeaters Anonymous. Welcome home.
Making Marcia Melt 